Top ten goals for 2010
1. Get a job that I want.
2. Get motivated. Stay motivated.
3. Run a 5k race. finish it.
4. Get a hobby.
5. Find some direction.
6. Get my confidence back.
7. Face my fears.
8. Learn something new.
9. Stop complaining.
10. Voulenteer
I posted this list back in january. I knew that i would find it challenging, but i felt up to the challenge. I have been feeling pretty bad about my accomplishments recently, so i decided to have a look and see where i need to be in reference to where i am now. I have a job that i want, check. I got motivated, I lost it, not I am working on it. I trained for a race, couldnt get there, now I am planning to complete one in about 3 months. I still need a hobby. I still need some direction. I still have little confidence, but I think it has gotten better. I have faced a few fears, check. I learned a lot about care for sick wild animals, check. I still complain too much. I was a voulenteer for several months at a wildlife animal rescue center, check.
Overall i have a lot of work to do, but I feel better knowing this year has not been a total waste.
A little piece of heaven
I am not extrordinary. I am a person that makes mistakes daily, I am not graceful and I often say the wrong things. I love with all I am and I try to save people to avoid myself. I am just a person. I have a family and a normal life that is frustrating, rewarding and ordinary. I want to live an honest life. I want to be someone that my son can be proud of.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Dear Nancy,
I cant feel you with me, and sometimes that is okay because I make a lot of mistakes and I dont want to let you down, but most of the time
it just hurts.
it just hurts.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Tattered souls
The agony of the bitter heart,
When loved ones are tattered.
Drifting friendless and aimlessly
Into the night,
The solitary heart seeks its match.
Reticent tears go unshed,
weeks go by, nothing to say...
The separation ruptured her heart,
The silence only destroys their bond.
She searches for another way to find,
her only love, but love is blind.
She desires and aches to see his face,
But love can't win this vicious war.
She longs each day to speak his name,
But weeks go by, each day the same...
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Make me skinny, make me tall
Man on the moon,
melt my melancholy world
Please make my dreams come true
Sand man, dear sand man
Wisk me away into ecstasy
To the dream I have fashioned to my fancy
To a world of slumber we shall soar
A place built on happy endings
And wishes fulfilled
This Prozac nation is crawling at my skin
Cutting at my flesh, exposing the core
To this nation built on lust and lies,
What such day would bring my world to life
What such dream we could collide
Oh mirror, mirror on the wall,
Please make me happy, please make it real
Man on the moon and my dream land sand man
I await your promise
What Color is Love?
Is it red like the heart or maybe it's gold,
A color that never fades as we grow old.
Perhaps it is silver like the stars up above
And that's why I'm asking; what color is love?
Is it cold and grey when it torments you,
Or is it seen in a different hue?
Is it new like a new born baby sheep,
Or true like the promises that we keep?
Is it warm like the flicker of a flame,
Is it soft like the way I call your name?
Is it sweet like the rose you are to me,
Or is it blue like the waves of the sea?
Does it shine like the brightness in your eyes,
Is it white like the soft clouds in the skies?
Is it fresh like your tender loving kiss,
Is it fine like the thoughts that bring me bliss?
Is it green like my memories oh so true,
Is it kind like the dreams I have of you?
Is it cool like the gentle evening breeze,
Or is it great like the way you please?
If it's free like the way you share your love;
If it's all of the many things above;
If it's strong like your spirit ever free,
Then that is the color of love to me.
Balloons
Three balloons
dance through the air,
snagging themselves
on stray branches as we pass.
Bright ribbons are tied tightly
to our belt loops,
in attempts to keep our balloons
forever
he buckles down in laughter
as my red balloon pops
and I am left with a sad dragging
piece of rubber
that trails behind me as I walk.
Kicked out of the Burger King play place,
she sips silently on a cup
that has been empty for the past hour.
I try to catch myself before I fall
too much in love with today.
But I realize it's too late
as we walk into Rite-Aid
and dub a piece of candy
"The Pink Push pop of Happiness".
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever grow up.
It's times like these when I hope I don't
Defeated into manipulation
I don’t think I’ll ever find someone honest enough for me
And every night spent trying to manipulate a genuine feeling
Makes me lower my standards that much more
Im slowly chipping away at the statue I’ve built
Until its nothing but a pile of rocks in the shape of a heart
Yearning to be broken again
Anyone is a possibility
And I know this isn’t the way its supposed to be
I’ve always known formulation is the enemy
But the longing for human contact is stronger than my morals
And settling doesn’t seem as bad as I once presumed it to be
You may say I am too young to be jaded
I say I am smart enough to know that dreams don’t come true
And I want to be young and in love so bad
I’ll settle for being young and not alone
And every night spent trying to manipulate a genuine feeling
Makes me lower my standards that much more
Im slowly chipping away at the statue I’ve built
Until its nothing but a pile of rocks in the shape of a heart
Yearning to be broken again
Anyone is a possibility
And I know this isn’t the way its supposed to be
I’ve always known formulation is the enemy
But the longing for human contact is stronger than my morals
And settling doesn’t seem as bad as I once presumed it to be
You may say I am too young to be jaded
I say I am smart enough to know that dreams don’t come true
And I want to be young and in love so bad
I’ll settle for being young and not alone
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