so many blessings have I.

My house is a mess, I cant seem to find a decent job and no matter what we do we just cant seem to get ahead. Despite all of these things I have to say that I am truly blessed. I have the best family. My son is a wonderful little man with a magnificent personality and my boyfriend takes great care of us. He gives up most of the things that he really wants so that he can give us everything that we need.

motivation = zero.

I am feeling very unmotivated lately. I went for the job i wanted and i didn't get it. Ever since I have had zero drive to find something else. Surprise surprise, me having no drive. Well i need to snap out of it somehow. I cant babysit forever and I don't have money to go to school, and you don't exactly get paid to go. I guess that i am doomed to work in any retail establishment that will have me until i can find something else that qualifies as a career.

i think that i sometimes believe that movies can be real. i think that may be part of why i self destruct.